Friday, September 19, 2008

Kalamon's Car Reviews #1 - Smart ForFour

In the first installment of my Clarkson impersonation, I will review my experiences with test-driving a Smart. Well - to be precise - trying to test-drive a Smart, with unexpected and very telling result.

So, on my way home from work, I am usually passing a local Daimler-Chrysler car dealership (as well as their arch-rival - BMW, but that will be the subject of my next review). Recently, I have noticed a prominently displayed "Smart" logo on their banners. Having seen Smart cars and pre-deciding that they indeed do look cool, I wanted to try one out. Specifically, I liked the "ForFour" model, not being aware of the fact that sadly it is no longer in production (sorry Mercedes folks - I am not exactly a fan and don't follow your production cycles on a regular basis).

I entered the dealership. Now, in a typical place like that (at least in my country) you would be immediately approached by a salesperson, desperately trying to sell you a new car, knowing that you are much more likely to get one from someplace in EU for half a price, than buying form them. They would be insanely polite, offer all sorts of propaganda materials, test drive, coffee, basically be at your service. Well... - not at Mercedes apparently. There were two or three sales dudes visible. One of them yapping on the phone, two looking bored and tired. None of them even trying to approach me. It was like I didn't even exist. What's more, there was absolutely no way to even evaluate any of the numerous cars displayed (including a pretty awesomely looking Mercedes SLK) - they were all shut close. My attempts to forcefully open some of them were not met with even a slightest attention of the sales drones. And there even was a Smart there - the small ForTwo. Not the one I wanted, but still, could be worth a try. It could have even turned out to be the one I would want to buy. But this one was not accessible also, so I finally gave up and went across the street to the BMW-land.

The question is: WTF was this all about? Did they not want to get a potential customer? Did I look like "not our customer" type (damn, I even happened to wear a proper formal work dress on that day)? I have no idea and I don't really care. I was their customer, they didn't give a damn about me.

So, if any of the Mercedes dealers are reading this (especially you guys) - I have this to say to you:

Fuck you too

Sorry folks, I won't be buying from you. Ever. Even though your cars seem to be quite awesome (or so I hear from my friends owning them). I will much rather car-shop at some other places, where I am treated like a customer, rather than a nuisance and maybe even a potential thief - like the one just across the street from you which turned out to be MUCH friendlier.

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